After the Story

At the end of every dark tunnel is light.


A few years ago, I conquered my metaphorical mountain. It was hard. The pain was emotionally, physically, and spiritually excruciating at times. Because survival was my imperative; my beacon, I didn’t give much thought to how I would feel once I processed my repressed memories. Intuitively, I knew that in order to live, I had to discover and accept the congruent timeline of a dark and deeply buried past, and then learn how to manage the triggers that sometimes rendered me feeling helpless and hopeless.

At times, I wondered, when my story is told and I am standing in my truth…What will happen next? How will I feel? How would I incorporate living with the effects of my trauma, and the resulting PTSD? Would I go from a person with “no past” to a person who was just a mental illness?

I knew I wanted to live my life with…

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Sue's Pen 2 Paper Blog

The moon is hidden behind the dark clouds of the night. The sounds of the jungle scream of danger as men crawl on their bellies through thick brush and brambles, mud and bugs. One man looks to his right to see if his comrade is still beside him at a short distance. The comrade gives him a slight nod letting him know he’s okay.

Slowly, methodically they inch their way forward, not knowing what the next second, minute, or hour will bring. Their heavy gear weighs them down as they tighten their grip on the big gun held tightly in their hands. The crack of a twig sounds like a bomb has exploded and both men stop, hold their breath, and close their eyes praying this is not their last breath.

At home their children are in their beds and dreams of Daddy float through their minds. Women are kneeling…

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Suicide Prevention – Information everyone should know

Sue's Pen 2 Paper Blog


  • One person dies by suicide every 15 minutes.
  • A suicide attempt occurs every 40 seconds.
  • Over 40,000 deaths by suicide each year, and the rate continues to increase.*

What are the warning signs?

  • Depression/feeling down, appetite loss, increased sleeping, loss of interest in life activities.
  • Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness or feeling unworthy
  • Talking about hurting or killing him/her self.
  • Substance misuse (cocaine, crack cocaine, alcohol, marijuana, etc.)
  • New/old mental health diagnosis, hearing voices, loss of touch with reality.
  • Chronic, debilitating or severe pain.
  • Severe anxiety that will not go away.
  • Severe overreaction to good or bad circumstances.
  • Feelings of rage, hostility or revenge.
  • Repression of angry feelings.
  • Severe internal conflicts, such as overwhelming guilt or anbivalence.

What are the risk factors?

  • History of abuse (sexual, physical or emotional.
  • Access to weapons
  • Previous suicide attempts or threats.
  • Family problems.
  • Any type of significant loss
  • Relationship difficulties (loss or…

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In the Blink of an Eye

Sue's Pen 2 Paper Blog

The streets are filled with people going about their every day tasks. Children are in school with teachers that are as disillusioned as the rest of society. The government has stepped in and set the rules for teaching, preaching, and living, leaving faces downcast, empty stomachs growl, groceries are scarce, the homelessness fill alleys, depression is prevalent, suicides are up, and hopelessness permeates the homes, schools, streets, and businesses.

Mary Lou slowly walks through a park. She’s doing all she can to stay hopeful and filled with joy in spite of all that is going on around her. She stops and watches a small bird fill it’s beak with grass clippings. It stops for a moment and looks at her before flying up to a tree branch and busily adds to the small nest she’s creating. Her home for when the babies are to come.

Mary Lou smiles and thinks…

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Love Yourself

Grace for my Heart

It’s Narcissist Friday!

“Narcissist love themselves. Don’t be like them.”

We get that message from people who understand neither narcissism nor the Good News. They say that narcissists love themselves too much, so much that they can’t see others. They also say that the Bible teaches us not to love ourselves. That would be the sin of pride, they say. Humility is putting others first, they say.

Well, that’s a lot to unpack. First, let’s talk about the narcissist. The narcissist works hard to get you to love him. Why? Because he doesn’t love himself. Only when you love him (which means to serve and honor him) will he begin to feel something like love. Even then, he doesn’t believe it and can’t receive it. That’s why he has to work so hard.

Think of it this way. We were made to live in community with others. Others have a…

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