I have a stirring in my spirit and it’s love, concern, compassion, empathy and anger. Yes, anger! I’m angry at how the devil is influencing some of my brothers and sisters in Christ who have suffered the horrific effects from the sins that others have done to them and I want it to stop!
Oh, how the devil can make us feel such hopelessness while facing the issues from the past. I know! I spent a long time crying, screaming, wanting to die, and wanting God to stop the pain I felt inside. I know what it’s like to want to give up. To just make the pain stop! I’ve lain curled up in the fetal position with thoughts and plans of suicide racing through my mind and I know how it is to pray and pray and pray and think my prayers are a waste of time.
I know what it’s like to hold women as they scream through the pain when a horrific memory jumps up and bites them. I suffered those nightmares, too! I’ve had various women live with me that the Lord brought to my home. Hurting, suicidal, suffering through the issues because of the past. I have ministered to them in my home, in support groups, and I have ministered to them individually. I have also sat in that counselors chair and felt like a zombie with no hope and I’ve stared at the pill bottle more times than I want to admit. I know those times when we shake our fist at God and scream, “WHY!? WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP IT!?”
It isn’t easy! But there is hope!
Let me assure you that there is a time when the nightmares stop, the issues that plaque you will lessen, and the time will come when you can hold your head high and say, “I am stronger because of what happened to me. The Lord brought me through it. Glory be to God.”
Christ is our hope! You can believe that or you can turn away from the only One who truly knows your pain. Your choice. He will use people to help us and it doesn’t always have to be a counselor or a therapist. I suggest a counselor but I don’t know your circumstances. A friend who can sit beside us and cry with us, a support group, reading books that help us to better understand the issues we deal with, and I don’t mean self-help books! are all helpful. Someone who you trust that you can talk to sometimes helps. I know about those trust issues, too. I know about the shame of telling I have been violated. Maybe it happened once and maybe it happened for many years. The pain can be the same, the shame and guilt can be the same, but there is hope!
Some may feel God has deserted them because we’re so sick of hurting and seemingly He isn’t doing anything. He is always at work behind the scenes! He promised to never leave you nor forsake you. (Duet. 31:8) He doesn’t lie! He said that by His stripes we are healed. (Is. 53:5) He doesn’t lie! He said that, “If you come close to Me I will come close to you.” (James 4:8) He doesn’t lie! He said He died so that we could have life more abundant. (Jn. 10:10) He doesn’t lie!
In our anguish we sometimes feel like giving up. Don’t! We sometimes feel the world is better off without us. It isn’t! You were put here for a purpose. We sometimes feel the pain will never end. It does! We sometimes feel nobody cares, He does! We feel unloved, dirty, and that if anyone knows they will shun us like a bad disease. Christ loves you! You were bought with His blood! (1Cor. 6:20) There is hope!
I have ministered to women that have been Satanically abused and have overcome what was meant for absolute pure unadulterated evil! I have ministered to people with multiple personalities and witnessed God’s healing as they became whole and one. I have witnessed the Lord work miraculous healing in those who have slit wrists, over-dosed, and wanted nothing to do with God. There is hope!
But healing does not come by curling up in our beds in the fetal position. That’s blunt, I know. If we expect healing to come and we want the pain to stop we have to grit our teeth and take each issue as it presents itself and work it. I know, it gets old! But we have to be like a bulldog standing ready to fight the devil. It’s the devil that plants those hopeless thoughts in our heads!
That’s how healing comes! We don’t give up! We face the past with the strength and courage that Jesus Christ gives us on a daily basis. We buckle down to the business of becoming what Christ wants us to be not what some perverted abuser said we were or who left us feeling less than. There is hope!
Yes, it’s hard! It’s darn hard to face the past! We can’t heal what isn’t confronted! With Him all things are possible. (Matt. 19:26) He isn’t going to force you. He wants you to be a happy, healthy, child of His. Healthy emotionally, physically, and spiritually. There is hope of being able to walk proud, to be able to face a world with love and compassion instead of anger, hatred and shame. There is hope that one day I can stand before a room full of people and say, without shame, I was sexually abused and this is what the Lord has done.
I’ve done that, too. Many times. Don’t give up. There is hope!
“Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.” 1John 4:4
Jesus, You came to set the captives free and in Your Holy Name I come against the demons of hopelessness.
If you have confidential questions/comments feel free to e-mail me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Blessings to you.